Modern Leaders Are Afraid of Conflict and It’s Becoming an Epidemic

Leaders sometimes have to do difficult things as part of their role, like addressing conflicts in their team. However, more leaders are sidestepping this responsibility and becoming conflict-averse. When leaders avoid conflict, their team and the company as a whole can face consequences in performance, productivity and reputation. Modern leaders need to confront their conflict aversion and fear by prioritizing developing conflict management skills and practicing these skills in the workplace.

Conflict Aversion: The Silent Epidemic in the Workplace

Even though conflict is inevitable and a natural part of the workplace, today’s leaders are becoming increasingly reluctant to address conflict directly and have tough conversations with their team.

A recent study by Bravely found that 70% of workers avoid difficult conversations, a trend that’s been growing among leaders as well, specifically among the younger generation. Millennial and Generation Z leaders tend to shy away from conflict, opting to avoid uncomfortable discussions and leave their teams to navigate rising tensions on their own. This kind of inaction from leaders creates an undercurrent of strain that spreads far beyond the initial point of conflict.

As this pattern of avoidance becomes more prominent in the modern workplace, so does its impact on the workforce, making it a growing concern that needs to be confronted.

Why Modern Leaders Fear Conflict

Why have today’s leaders become more conflict-averse than leaders in previous generations? Some of the reasons include:

• The barrier of remote work: Many workplaces are fully remote or hybrid instead of in-person. Having leaders and team members in disparate locations creates a barrier, making it more difficult for leaders to hold tough conversations.
• Employee response: Leaders anticipate that their employees will become emotional, upset or defensive during tough conversations, and rather than hurting their feelings or facing a potentially negative reaction, they avoid the conversation altogether.
• Fear of poor reputation: Leaders fear that if they attempt to diffuse a conflict, they will be seen as the “bad guy” and have a negative reputation with the rest of their team.
• Poor conflict management skills: In a recent assessment of over 70,000 leaders worldwide, Development Dimensions International (DDI) found that nearly 50% of them lacked effective conflict management skills. When conflicts arise, many leaders are ill-equipped and unprepared to handle them.
• Perception of conflict: Some leaders see all conflict as a negative event or a threat, causing them to disengage or avoid these situations.
• More conflict: Depending on the situation, leaders may believe that confronting the conflict will breed more conflict instead of stopping the problem.
• Lack of confidence: A recent DDI Global Leadership Forecast report showed that only 30% of leaders have confidence in their ability to manage conflict. Leaders don’t feel secure in their conflict approach and don’t believe it will yield the desired results.

The Cost of Conflict Avoidance

Though avoiding conflict seems easier in the moment, failing to confront conflict head-on leads to unresolved issues, which are far more damaging and take significantly more time and effort to fix. Avoiding conflict is more likely to result in negative outcomes, including:

• Erosion of trust: Conflict can take an emotional toll. Employees may find it difficult to trust their leaders and co-workers if the conflict is not addressed appropriately. What’s more, their sense of psychological safety may suffer, impacting team performance, productivity and even retention.
• Miscommunication: Avoiding conflict can create a culture of miscommunication and misinformation in the workplace. This type of work environment impacts communication, collaboration and productivity by making it difficult to accomplish objectives on time and with accurate information.
• Resentment: Avoiding hard conversations also avoids holding employees accountable for their actions. Team members notice when their co-workers get away with breaking the rules, resulting in frustration and dissatisfaction that can cause valuable employees to leave your company.
• Team stagnation: When conflict is a normal and permeating part of your company’s work environment, it impacts not only interpersonal relationships but also team performance. Morale slips, employees don’t feel engaged with their projects and efficiency grinds to a halt.

Tips to Overcome Conflict Aversion

While the consequences of avoiding conflict are serious, they are not inevitable. When leaders learn that the short-term discomfort from dealing with conflict outweighs the long-term consequences of allowing conflict to continue, they can begin to understand how to address issues and turn destructive conflicts into constructive conversations.

Overcoming conflict aversion means reframing conflict as an opportunity for growth and advancement. With a few basic but actionable changes, leaders can build their conflict confidence. Some of these strategies include:

• Engage in conflicts early to prevent them from escalating.
• Communicate with all involved parties, so everyone feels heard and respected.
• Focus on the problem instead of the person.
• Learn the differences between constructive and destructive conflicts.
• Build emotional awareness to become a more effective leader.
• Develop conflict management skills to turn disagreements toward a positive direction.

Build Your Conflict Playbook With The Center for Leadership Studies

While avoiding conflict can feel more comfortable, it can lead to dysfunction all around. Leaders need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Instead of prioritizing being liked or seen as “nice”, modern leaders need to prioritize being effective, and that starts with practicing healthy and clean confrontation.

Developing conflict management skills is critical to overcoming conflict aversion and becoming a more effective conflict manager. Our Managing Conflict course teaches leaders how to turn destructive conflict into positive experiences. During this half-day workshop, leaders will learn conflict management skills that will help them become more confident and comfortable having tough conversations with their team.

Explore the other leadership courses from CLS. Contact our team today to learn how to foster strong and impactful leadership in your organization.