Leaders spend about 4.3 hours managing conflict weekly. That equals over 223 hours per leader annually. While each situation varies, some common reasons for work-related issues include poor communication, personality clashes and differing work styles. Though some of these conflicts can be resolved quickly, others are deeper and more complicated, simmering until they flare.
In highly tense conflicts, leaders cannot avoid or dodge the issue but need to confront it head-on. These situations are opportunities for leaders to lead through conflict, transforming disagreements into positive outcomes for the entire organization. Thankfully, there are a few proven communication strategies leaders can use to de-escalate tense situations and enhance their conflict management skills.
Disagreements, misunderstandings and grievances can quickly escalate into serious conflicts. Without leader intervention, employees can become embroiled in their issues with one another, leading to damaged relationships, low morale and poor productivity. These consequences not only affect the parties involved but also the team and organization as a whole.
Leaders have a responsibility to address conflicts regardless of size or severity. They play a critical role in navigating tense situations and resolving conflicts in a way that keeps teams productive and healthy. However, high-pressure communication can be one of the most difficult aspects of leadership since tense situations create discomfort for all individuals involved, including leaders. It’s not uncommon to see leaders crumble under the pressure or avoid the conflict altogether.
Though tense situations will happen in the workplace, and they can be uncomfortable to address, leaders need to view conflict as an opportunity to build trust and credibility while strengthening their team. Overcoming challenges can help your workforce become more resilient, work cohesively and contribute toward your organization’s overall goals.
These strategies can help leaders communicate in high-pressure situations, de-escalate tensions and guide their team toward productive, satisfying resolutions.
Staying calm in tense situations is the first critical step to communicating through conflicts. Remaining calm can help stabilize the situation, acting as a “contagious anchor” that makes constructive dialogue possible. Involved parties are likely to instinctually mirror their leader’s behavior, preventing them from spiraling and helping them become more rational, respectful and solution-oriented. When conflict strikes, be sure to maintain a calm demeanor and use respectful body language. Keep your body upright and open. Avoid crossing your arms or legs, which can signal disinterest or defensiveness.
The medium chosen for effective conversation matters because it gives the involved parties space to express themselves in a way appropriate for the situation. Consider how the environment and the conflict being resolved impact the conversation. If you’re working in person or discussing a serious issue, move to a private space where employees can speak openly and honestly without distractions. Use video calls to pick up cues with facial expressions, gestures and tone of voice with remote employees or to communicate about conflicts that are not as intense.
Leaders should facilitate resolution not only by addressing the problem but also by openly acknowledging the tension of the situation. This is a great way to show the party involved that their feelings are heard and their concerns are valid, which can help automatically diffuse defensive attitudes. By naming the conflict and the tension it’s caused outright, leaders can demonstrate awareness and empathy, and signal that the conflict can be overcome. This approach can deepen trust and lead to open communication, as those involved feel safe to express their own unique perspective without fear of escalation or judgment. Addressing the tension ultimately allows leaders to turn a potentially volatile situation into a chance for genuine connection, understanding and growth.
Start by making neutral statements that recognize the stress in the room, such as “I understand this situation is very stressful” or “I can see just how difficult this situation has been for everyone”. Actively listen to the responses you get to ensure all perspectives are being heard and acknowledged. Use clear, empathetic language to validate the emotions that come up, but be sure to allow space for those emotions to surface without rushing toward a resolution.
Taking a moment of pause allows leaders to approach conflict resolution with a clear mind and clear intentions, which allows them to handle conflict more effectively. During tense or heated conversations, communication needs to be deliberate, with leaders choosing their word choices and tone carefully based on the situation. This thoughtful approach prevents leaders from coming across as dismissive or overly harsh.
Before you respond, think about each person’s perspectives and feelings. Show genuine empathy and create space for the involved party to communicate their feelings openly. Safe environments empower positive conflict resolution outcomes by making all parties feel like they can express their thoughts and feelings without fear of retaliation.
In highly tense situations, clear and transparent communication is key to preventing misunderstanding and assumptions from worsening the conflict. By openly discussing their thoughts, providing relevant information and being clear about their reasoning or decisions around the conflict, leaders can help their team members understand the context and feel included in the process of resolving the issue. Encourage those involved in the conflict to share their concerns and perspectives in a safe, dedicated space, so that they can address the issue before it escalates any further. Model open and direct communication yourself to inspire your team to follow suit.
Rephrase what you hear in your own words, confirming you’ve heard and understood a message correctly. Rephrasing words is an active listening skill that shows you’re paying attention and care about another person’s point of view. This step is also essential for leaders to identify the misalignments that they can use to find a positive resolution.
Reflect on what you’ve heard to identify how a person might be feeling. Acknowledge those emotions and validate their individual experiences with phrases like “I can understand why you feel that way” or “That must be challenging.” Validation is a way leaders can demonstrate empathy and make employees feel heard, which paves the way to conflict resolution.
As the involved parties share their point of view on the conflict, leaders should actively listen to identify the common ground where all parties agree. These commonalities are opportunities for leaders to unite their employees under a shared goal and drive positive, impactful results for the organization.
After the conflict has been resolved, leaders should schedule a group discussion, a two-on-one conversation, or a one-on-one talk to restate the resolution, address concerns, answer questions and provide resources to support employees throughout the process. Follow-up is important in ensuring all parties are on the same page and ready to move forward.
When communicating in highly tense situations, leaders can unintentionally make the conflict worse through:
Conflict resolution always starts with effective communication. Leaders cannot and should not attempt to prevent high-pressure situations, but instead focus on building their communication skills and experience to best handle these scenarios. With effective communication strategies, leaders can help their teams rise above and grow stronger because of conflicts.
The Center for Leadership Studies (CLS) offers a Managing Conflict Effectively course to help leaders manage high-stakes conversations. We share effective conflict management strategies for various situations.
Contact our team to learn more about our course and sign up today.
